Have you ever wondered why they’re acting distant?
People are incredibly difficult to understand.
At least, that’s what I used to think. We spend our days talking to new people and ghosting those we don’t like. But when someone starts acting distant with us, we often think it’s an incredible mystery that needs to be solved.
If you’re anything like my past-self, that’s something which has crossed your mind. You know how to show interest in another person while dating. But for one reason or another, you have no idea how to tell if they’re still interested in you.
Over the past few years, I’ve found myself in the same position as you many times. But I’ve discovered that it’s important to recognize the red flags that can signify a lack of interest from another person. In the words of Mandy Hale:
“When it’s right for you, you will know. And when it’s not — it’s time to go.”
So if you notice them displaying any of these signs, it’s a good idea to move on, so you can find someone else to love for the rest of your life.
They Don’t Listen During A Conversation
When someone genuinely cares about you, they’ll naturally show interest in what you have to say during a conversation. As the Roman Philosopher, Seneca once said:
“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.”
For the longest time, I struggled to accept that some people weren’t interested in talking to me. But when I stopped focusing on the people that didn’t care, it gave me a lot more time to focus on everyone that genuinely did. In other words, I’ve managed to exponentially improve the quality of my relationships.
So if you want to know if someone’s still interested, pay attention to their actions, as well as their words. For example, if they take ages to reply and seem distant while talking, they’re probably not emotionally invested in the conversation.
Because when you can tell if someone has lost interest, it gives you an excellent opportunity to begin the process of finding someone who is.
They Keep Cancelling Plans
One of the greatest truths of life is that we make time in our day to see people we genuinely care about. For example, I’ll watch fewer TV shows on Netflix in the evening, so I have more time to video call my friends & family during quarantine.
Unexpected events happen. It’s inevitable that something eventually will pop up in their schedule, which prevents them from meeting up with you. But if it becomes a regular occurrence, they’re probably just making excuses not to see you.
Most people don’t like to tell the truth when it can hurt someone else’s feelings. So if someone keeps canceling plans, it’s probably a good sign to move on, as they’re not interested in you anymore. Dan Millman said it best:
“The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”
They Never Text You First
I’ve discovered that a lack of effort is one of the biggest signs that someone isn’t interested in you anymore. For example, if they never text you first in the morning, it’s probably a one-sided relationship that won’t develop into anything further.
So over the past few months, I’ve started to accept that some people just aren’t right for me. Because when someone doesn’t want to put any effort into maintaining the relationship, I know there’s little point in trying to salvage something that isn’t worth saving.
So if you want to know if someone isn’t interested in a relationship, paying attention to what they say & do is undoubtedly a great place to start. In the words of Zeno:
“We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we speak.”
Although the truth may be uncomfortable in the short-term, it’s definitely better than never having closure over your thoughts. Because when you know if someone isn’t interested, you can begin the process of finding someone who is.
So whenever you feel doubtful, ask yourself: “What actions can I take right now to understand if they’re still interested in a relationship?”
More often than not, all you need to do is listen.