For many people, the most focused aspect of communication is speaking. However, an essential criterion in communicating accurately is listening. This article will focus on the art of actively listening, the common errors associated, and how we can deploy active listening techniques in improving our speaking and communication.
To properly communicate with others, there are five essential stages that must take place, and there are many associated errors with them. They include receiving information from a person or group of persons, understanding the information shared with you, remembering the vital points, evaluating the information shared with you, and then responding to them.
Each of these processes cannot function without active listening, and we will see how and why they are important to communication. In receiving information, distractions – either physical or mental – can be present. A person may hear an ongoing conversation, but are they fully present? Are they attentive to nonverbal cues? Are they patient with the information being shared, and are they withholding judgment? This first process of receiving information is very important in what we make of the information we receive and how we share it. Receiving information well is vital to processing the thoughts needed to properly communicate.
Another essential aspect is understanding. Without active listening, our understanding can be flawed, assumptions and prejudices can be made, and communication may become a hassle. You need appropriate focus to understand the depth of words and the context in which it is being told. A message can easily be misunderstood, so paying keen attention to understand the sender or speaker’s point of view is of optimal importance.
When details shared isn’t understood, it would be even harder to remember it. The ability to focus, organise, and unite your thoughts is very essential in remembering. You might even want to repeat important details that are being said to you, to recollect the message that has been shared. When communicating with people, if you’re not likely to remember what has been said to you, then others may be less inclined to relate with you on another occasion. One of the most essential ways to show interest in communicating is remembering what has been shared with you.
You do not want to overlook the importance of evaluating what you hear before speaking. Making the assumption that you know and understand what you’re being told is never good enough. It is important to ascertain that your understanding is shared by both communicators, and you can do this by rephrasing and seeking to clarify what is being shared or transmitted.
A very common error is assuming that each communicator only has to hear the information being conveyed and to respond promptly. However, when these aspects of communication are not deployed through the aid of active listening, the communication can be flawed as it may be subject to misunderstanding, biases, assumptions, and inferences.
There are various techniques we can use in improving our active listening skills, and these techniques are fundamental to our communication. One of these is to avoid biases and prejudices and to maintain objectivity in receiving information. Certainly, if we already have strong opinions about the topic of discussion, we may not be readily willing to listen to anything contrary to it. We must avoid strong personal feelings, opinions, or preferences when receiving information. Objectivity is an important aspect of receiving, not just a part but the whole of a conversation.
There is the tendency to also shift focus, have stray thoughts, becoming uninterested, or filter out messages when communication is longer than expected. However, to properly assimilate and understand, we must avoid picking parts of a conversation and try to be as focused as possible. Listen for both content in verbal and nonverbal cues to communicate not just physically but mentally and emotionally. The ability to connect beyond a speaker’s words creates an ideal connection.
To remember what a person has said, there is need for genuine interest in their line of thought. When a person listens for the sake of it, it is highly possible that very little from that communication would be held on to. Do not disregard a speaker or his words even when the knowledge of the information being conveyed is known.
It is also very easy to disrupt the flow of communication when the information is being evaluated. For this reason, it is important to be mindful of your actions. You will want to show empathy for the speaker while watching them in the eyes, as a show of active listening. Although it is important to ascertain the information received or conveyed, we want to avoid interrupting the speaker. Instead, we want to give positive feedback and supportive listening. For example, we do not want to interject while a conversation is still being had. We want to wait till the information is fully made and we are sure that the point for clarity isn’t explicitly stated.
The responses we make send firm feedback on how well we actively listened and how much we have been a part of the communication. It is an important pedestal to how people see us, for they also assess what we say and can tell how the information has been processed in our head. For that reason, we want to actively listen even more than we speak.
In conclusion, to properly communicate, we must do more than just speak. We must also become active listeners. This transcends hearing to accurately receiving information, understanding the information, remembering the information, evaluating the information, and then giving prompt responses. As listeners, we must avoid the errors of overlooking, disregarding, biases, prejudices, and assumptions in our communication.
Additionally, we want to objectively assimilate, maintain focus, and avoid filtering out messages. We can create a connection with the speaker by paying rapt attention to their verbal and nonverbal cues and by providing feedback that shows that the information has been actively listened to and processed. This undoubtedly shows our interest in the communication process.
*Want to get a group or one-on-one training on elocution and/or writing? Feel free to contact me for your customised training solutions.
•Dr. Oji is a Senior Lecturer of English at the Institute of Humanities, Pan-Atlantic University, Lagos
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